THE MATCHMAKER WITCH
Zit Publishing House
Translated by Silvia Zanette Guimarães
For children up to 8
Miriana and Marcela are two witches who live in Slovenia. Miriana is a very important witch master and Marcela is her favorite disciple.
Without asking for permission, Marcela decided to be an expert in finding boyfriends for the girls (of course she also finds girlfriends for the boys, don't lose heart!). You have just to send an e-mail to her telling what you expect about the person and wait for 3 days. Well, that's what the website says. But are those things so easy?
The witches are the symbol of good luck in Slovenia and they are everywhere. When I was traveling over this lovely land, I saw one of them in a shop, dressed like a bride, and I was fascinated! There was no doubt: she was a witch! She was flying on a broomstick and her long and blond hair full of curls was covered for a veil with flowers. Everything was white but she had also a big nose with two warts and her eyes were shining. I bought her immediately (in despite of her price).
The saleslady told me this special character is part of the tradition in some regions of the land: when a girl will have married, the best friend of her, the bride, will give her a bride-witch who has to be hanged in front of the door of the house for taking care of the new home.
I am always in love with love. I like to see the people together and happy and this is the reason I introduce my single friends one to another. Some of them really get married – and I was the witness, of course!
Now I did another kind of union: I put all this ideas together and I made a new story!
Some texts from the book
In the first beginning, the ideas about marriage came very slow in Miriana's mind and she put them out, but one time it was impossible not to believe (maybe, probably, who knows?) that it would have something good in this situation. She thought:
- It has to have some charm on having a boring husband, a spoiled daughter and a crybabyboy!
The perfect way to know that was answering some e-mails which she delected before. She put her attention on the planet Earth, where the majority of them came from.
And she decided to help this people. (...)
The first thing Marcela did was announcing by internet:
“I the expert witch of love can find the best partner for you. You have only to say what you want and wait three days long.”
In a few minutes, she had lots of messages. The majority of them were very normal ones, like this:
“Mrs. Witch, I am a very common gay: I am not tall but not short; I am not nice but not ugly at all. I am looking for a girlfriend. I would like she loves cooking because I love eating. She doesn't has to talk too much because I love the silence. Find somebody very nice - nobody deserves to look at an ugly face for a long time.”
“Mrs. Witch, I would like to have a boyfriend. I am not exigent. I just want him rich, handsome, intelligent and funny. Oh, I am forgetting! He has to do everything for me.”
But some of the messages were really strange ones:
“Very important Mrs. Witch, I am 92 years old and I would like to marry again. But I want a young husband (50-60 years old would be perfect) because I was three times widow and I don't want to have this terrible situation anymore. This is very disagreeable to wear dark clothes and to cry in the cemetery. Can you help me, please?”
“Mrs. Witch, I think the girls are very boring. Please, never send a girlfriend to me. And, if you can, put far away from me this blond girl who is always looking at me.”
They never said “please” or “thank you” at the end, but Marcela was not worried about this. She could understand.
And then, very happy for working with dreams, the young witch put all this message in her computer, crossed the files, information, questions, descriptions and tried to satisfy her clients.
Soon she received the feedback. It was millions and millions of e-mails, more or less like the ones below:
“Mrs. Witch, I thought your services had guaranties. You sent me a rich and handsome young man. He was, let's say, also intelligent and funny as I asked you, but he has a problem: he smells really bad! The whole day he makes a nosy with smell from his belly! I can't support this anymore! Can you please send another one like him but only this problem? Or maybe you should find a way that he makes this nosy with a perfume…”
“Mrs. Witch, the girl you sent me is a boring one! She complains the whole day and everything I do she says it is wrong. I would like to change her for one like her but dumb.”
“Mrs. Witch, the boy you sent to me is not bad at all. But his mouth! Wow! What a smell! This is impossible to be close to him! There is only two possibilities: you send a sorcery against that or I will send him back.” (...)
Marcela was sad because she couldn't understand what was happening (or in another words: what she did in a wrong way…) and decided to talk to Master Miriana.
They tried some solutions but nothing worked at all and the Witch master decided to stop helping this ungrateful people.
- Poor boys and girls… - said Marcela.
- One or two of them you should help – decided Master Miriana. - When they are very kind, for example, but you can consider out from now your site for helping them.
In this moment, Marcela remembered about something and started to cry:
- I want to marry, Master! Now who needs a boyfriend… it's me!
- Don't be sad, Marcela – said Miriana. – You will have your boyfriend. There is somebody reserved for everyone on the Earth. Now you should go somewhere on holidays, read good books, travel to a nice place and enjoy it. When you will be back you will be really ready for loving. Your boyfriend is waiting for you, somewhere.
From this day, we the humans had to learn how to find a partner by our own. But maybe you can meet a nice witch for helping you. Why not? Just try! I wish you good luck! And when it will happen, don't forget to bring a nice bride witch to take care of your home.